The Division Bell

When I saw the sunrise, I knew it wasn’t the same sun which rose over slavery and The Civil War or even the same sun which rose over segregation and Civil Rights. It was a brand new sunrise, shining over a brand new South. This South was more a more integrated South where fellow Southerners had moved to other parts of the United States, and outsiders from those same places had moved here.

I had relatives from both inside and outside The South, they still brag about their old Southern culture, and bitch about how these Yankees from the outside came in and destroyed their way of life. Those same relatives are still upset over those in laws who brought corporate takeovers and The Internet to The South.

***

Ted Heyman finished typing in his blog on the computer, headed out the door, and walked up a few blocks until he came upon the railroad tracks. On one side, there was the downtown area which was the last remnant of the old Southern town known as Fairview with a bunch of rundown buildings which house various struggling small businesses. The other side had various skyscrapers and towers that make part of Fairview a hotspot for corporate America. He took a shortcut through the downtown district to an old Southern mansion. It belonged to his maternal grandmother, Grandma Cornette. As he walked in, he spotted a holiday feast in the dining room with turkey and all the trimmings.

***

‘’Hi honey, so glad you could come’‘, said Grandma Cornette.

‘’Hi’‘, I said

I spotted my parents, Peter and Teresa Heyman, we all hugged and sat down at the table. The table was divided as The Heymans sat on one end and The Cornettes sat on the other. Food began to be served, and everyone seemed happy.

‘’How’s that blog of yours goin’?’‘Dad asked.

‘’Fine’‘, I answered .

‘’What the hell’s a blog?’‘ asked my uncle, Jack Cornette.

‘’It’s a record of thoughts and events on the internet through your point of view’‘, I responded.

‘’That god damn internet! I’m so sick of hearin’ about that god damn internet! Why the hell do so many people need computers anyway?’‘ asked Jack.

‘’They need them to work you narrow minded dumbass!’‘ said Dad.

‘’We use to work with our hands long before you brought all those fancy corporations, computers, and internet crap that wiped out good decent hard work, and gave people an excuse to be lazy and sit on their ass!’‘ shouted Jack.

‘’Oh, don’t give me any of that self-righteous Waltons and Little House on The Prairie bullshit! You need to take your outdated Southern morals and values, and shove them up your ass because no one gives a shit anymore!’‘ Dad shouted back.

Jack knocked the shit out of my father! Everyone just stood there shocked at what just happened. Dad got up, grabbed Jack by the throat, and throttled him up against the wall. The two exchanged blows right in front of everyone, they even crash through Grandma Cornette’s dinner table.

After the holiday feast, I got back on my computer at home, and noticed there was a response to my blog. It was from guy named Mark Cornette, the same name as my cousin who moved to New York several years ago, and was also Jack’s grandson. This Mark Cornette mentioned having a cousin in a small Southern town called Fairview named Ted Heyman, and wondered if I was the same one. He also mentioned his mother was in love with someone named Eddie Heyman, and he asked if he was related to me. He mentioned Eddie’s relatives weren’t too happy with him being in love with a southern gal.

I replied to his message that I was indeed the same Ted Heyman from Fairview, and that Eddie was my Dad’s brother. I also invited them to come to Fairview for a visit, knowing that another Heyman-Cornette relationship would piss Jack off since his daughter was now with a Heyman.

We all waited at the airport for Mark and his mother, Nancy. However, I didn’t them Eddie was coming with them. The three of them came through the entrance, and every seemed so happy. Jack walked up to Nancy, and gave her a big hug!

‘’There’s my baby girl!’‘, he said.

‘’Hi Daddy’‘, she replied.

‘’Everyone, this is my boyfriend Eddie’‘, she said.

‘’Peter, is that you?’‘ Eddie asked.

‘’Oh my god!’‘ shouted my Dad.

My Dad ran over to hug Eddie, and Jack’s face turned red. He wasn’t aware Eddie was a Heyman just yet, and I’m sure he didn’t wanna know. If he found out, he might have a heart attack, it was the kinda person he was. He hated those so called ‘’Yankees’‘ more than anything else on earth.

‘’You two know each other?’‘ asked Jack.

‘’He’s my brother!’‘ exclaimed Peter.

‘’Your sleeping with one of THEM?’‘ screamed Jack.

‘’One of who Daddy? Why are you so upset?’‘ asked Nancy.

‘’One of those damn Heymans! Those Yankees from up north have destroyed EVERYTHING down here!’‘

‘’Oh god Daddy, not again!’‘ Nancy sighed.

‘’Look, don’t expect us to put up with this North-South, Heyman-Cornette crap, like you made Peter and Teresa do!’‘.

‘’You see here!’‘ commanded Jack.

‘’Don’t shove that Daddy’s girl crap down my throat either!’‘ said Nancy

‘’If General Robert E. Lee here doesn’t mind, we’ll go check into a hotel’‘. said Eddie

‘’Oh don’t be ridiculous, you can stay with us!’‘ said my mother.

One night, my uncle Jack worked the graveyard shift in his office at the local newspaper. He edited and proofread a feature article with a pen and some paper handy when he heard footsteps in the halls, the sound got louder and louder, and he got up and went to the doorway to check it out.

‘’Hello, anyone there?’‘ he asked.

All of a sudden, a dark figure shot him in the stomach with a handgun. He clutched the bullet wound, and his hand became drenched in blood. He collapsed onto the floor as the assailant walked off. Jack was too injured to get up, and go after the individual. He lay there as blood continued to pour out of his stomach.

We all went to visit Jack in the hospital, but he didn’t find it very pleasant. The Heymans and The Cornettes were just as divided as they were when we all had dinner at Grandma Cornette’s house. We were all so damn quiet, we all waited for some to just open their damn mouth just to see if someone was gonna start another argument! A police officer also waited to take a statement from Jack about the shooting.

‘’How ya’ feelin’ Daddy?’‘ Nancy asked.

‘’I’d feel better if there weren’t so many god damn Yankees in this room!’‘ Jack responded.

‘’Dad, don’t start. We’re all here because we care about you, and we were so heartbroken and scared when we found out you got shot’‘. Nancy said.

‘’Thanks sweetie.’‘ Jack said.

‘’Mr. Cornette, did you get a good look at the person who shot you?’‘ asked the police officer.

‘’No I couldn’t see who it was because the hallway was so dark, but I bet you it was one of those Heymans!’‘

‘’I’ve heard just about enough of your bullshit Jack! I’m leavin’!’‘ shouted Teresa, his sister.

‘’Hey, let us know when you stop being so paranoid, and realize that The Civil War has been over for almost 150 years!’‘ said her husband Peter.

A few days later, my father Peter Heyman stepped out of the house to get the morning paper, and as he reached down to get it, he felt a sharp pain in his side as a gunshot was fired. The wound became bloody as he lay there helpless, all of a sudden, the dark figure who shot dialed his cell phone.

‘’Vengeance is yours, Mr. Cornette. The South Shall Rise Again.’‘ said the dark figure.

As the dark figure left the scene of the crime, my father writhed on the ground as blood came up from his mouth. He wandered in and out of consciousness as he glanced up at the morning sky thinking he was gonna die.


In time, both my uncle and my father recovered from their injuries. However, I noticed something weird as Fairview’s 4th of July picnic approached. Half the houses in town sported American flags in their front yards while the other half sported Confederate flags. It was now the night of 4th of July picnic, but no one seemed as happy as they were at picnics in previous years. Everyone seemed so distant and quiet. Then I noticed Yankees and red necks each stood in two groups. My father Peter Heyman stood in front of the Yankees while my uncle Jack Cornette stood in front of the red necks.

‘’You and all of this corporate takeover bullshit has destroyed our quiet little town!’‘ shouted Jack.

‘’Please spare the whole population of Fairview of your self-righteous bullshit! We don’t wanna hear it!’‘said my father.

‘’We’re about a second away from kickin’ your corporate asses!’‘ Jack yelled.

‘’Let’s see what you got!’‘ exclaimed Peter.

The red, white, and blue fireworks started up as a marching band played the star spangled banner, but instead of celebrating, everyone was too busy trying to kill each other. People were getting shot and stabbed left and right. Yankees and red necks were on the ground, covered in blood, and dying while a good number of both sides still fought for their lives. It was The Civil War all over again! All of a sudden, a trumpet sounded, and a bolt of lightning struck so bright and so loud, it almost woke the dead. The sky split open as a beacon of shone through, half the people there ascended into the heavens as they hugged and seemed at peace with one another. The ground also split apart as flames shot up from an underground pit. The other half left behind tried to struggle for their lives, but they all fell into the pit screaming in pain.

This will be my final blog entry, the last judgement has been placed on The South by the Yankees from up North. Those good on the right have inherited the kingdom which has prepared them for the world. While those evil on the left have departed into an everlasting fire which has prepared them for the wicked demons who shall torment them in the heart of darkness.

***

Ted Heyman finished typing in his blog on the computer, and folded down his laptop. He got up from his chair, and walked over to his right. He stood at the gates of heaven as he clothes turned white before turning left to head over to the flames of hell where his clothes turned black. His clothes turned grey as he came to a neutral midpoint between the two domains where he saw a throne. Ted climbed up the steps, and sat on the throne, as he had control over both heaven and hell. He was both God and The Devil.