The Crossroads of Life

I’m standing here between two main roads at the crossroads of my life. I just turned 18, the age where most are looking forward to getting out on their own, but I feel as if I’m having a mid life crisis. I’m a boy from The South, and I can’t enjoy a kid’s life any longer because I’m too old. I also can’t indulge the life of an adult because I’m too young, and won’t be able to drink, go to bars, and strip clubs or buy Playboys until three years from now. What am I to do?

‘’Is something wrong?’‘ asked a mysterious drifter.

‘’Yeah, I just celebrated my 18th birthday, and I feel my life has changed overnight.’‘ I replied.

‘’Well, it’s normal to feel this way at your age’‘, he said.

‘’It is?’‘ I asked.

‘’Sure! Of course it is!’‘ he exclaimed.

‘’How?’‘ I asked.

‘’Tell me about your life before your 18th birthday.’‘ he said.

‘’My family’s kinda rich,’‘ I replied.

‘’Have they made you work hard for everything you’ve got or have you had it always handed to you?’‘ he asked.

‘’They’ve kinda handed to me.’‘ I replied.

‘’Then it’s time for you to stand up on your own two feet, and learn to bust your ass and learn to do the work yourself.’‘ he said.

As he walked away, I pondered those words. He was right, if I was ever gonna amount to anything, I’d have to work hard to get everything I want, not lean on some trust fund or wait for some inheritance. Too many of my relatives have relied on the money and never gotten anywhere in life. They have high ranking positions in my family’s media company, and they know to buy and sell smaller companies within the corporate framework. But do the know anything about how to run a company or how to start one and build it from the ground up? HELL NO!


Ever since the conversation with the mysterious drifter, I’ve been doing research into Sheraton Media, my family’s company. They own every major newspaper, radio, and television station in The South. But what’s sad is their lack of involvement with The Internet. They have the most money yet don’t have the brains to evolve with the changing guard of the media, it’s pathetic. Maybe this should be where I do business.

‘’Hey kid, your purchase of 49% of Sheraton Media just went through.’‘ said my stockbroker.

‘’Good, now I have the public’s financial interest in the company tied up, I can start making my move.’‘ I replied.

‘’What are you planning to do? They still have control of the company.’‘ he said.

‘’Just by a marginal 2%. And besides, they won’t have it for much longer.’‘ I mentioned.

‘’Sounds as if you’ve got a plan.’‘ he responded.

‘’You bet your ass there’s a plan.’‘ I said.

‘’Good, your learning fast. Better than what I can say about most of the spoiled brats trying to run this company.’‘ he mentioned.

During the last six months since buying a share in the company, I’ve stolen many of the top employees from my family’s more traditional and outdated media outlets. I’ve taught many of the top Southern newspaper reporters the fine art of blogging, the most charismatic disc jockeys in The South the sonic precision known as podcasting, and I’ve educated Southern TV personalities and camera crews how to perform in front of and work behind a digital video camera. Also, how to upload the material to a computer, how to the put the visual presentations together using a digital editing system, and how to present them on The Internet.

‘’Do your relatives know what you’ve done?’‘ asked a reporter.

‘’They’re panicking since they lost their top talent, but so far they don’t know I bought the shares and did the evil deed.’‘ I replied.

‘’They’re gonna find out.’‘ he said.

‘’I know at some point they will, but not until I want them to find out.’‘ I said.

‘’How soon do you think it’ll be before they do?’‘ he asked.

‘’We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.’‘ I mentioned.


I wandered into my uncle’s office, they didn’t suspect a damn thing as to who was leading a hostile takeover of the company and raiding their talent. He and all my other relatives as well as the remaining staff were panicking because they thought they were about to be run out of business. Oh man, this asshole didn’t even see it coming compared to what I had in mind. These bastards were so gullible it wasn’t even funny! It was about time to make my last move, and make things complete. I was sure as hell gonna enjoy this!

Oh, thank god you’re here! Things are in terrible shape, is there anything you can do for us?’‘ he asked.

‘’You can sell me 2% of stock in Sheraton Media, and I’ll do everything I can to help you.’‘ I replied.

I pulled out a pen and a contract for him to sign to finalize this transaction. In a good business move, I already signed the deal. I almost had the urge to laugh, as he didn’t know what was coming. These relatives of mine took advantage of me all my life. Just because I was a distant relative, he and the rest of The Sheratons thought of me as weird or different. Now it was time to bite them in the ass! At last, the dumbass son of a bitch signed the deal!

‘’There ya go, but how are you gonna help me by just owning a 2% share?’‘ he asked.

‘’Well, you see. I lied.’‘ I said.

‘’What do you mean?’‘ he questioned.

‘’I have a written proxy for the public’s 49% share of the company, and I’m the wretched piece of shit from The Internet who stole your top guys away from you. Your looking at the new owner of Sheraton Media.’‘ I remarked.

I laid the written proxy down in front of him laughing my ass off because I outsmarted all of my stupid relatives. He was in utter shock and awe as I now had control over every print, broadcast, and internet media outlet in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Mississippi, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Texas, The Virginias, and The Carolinas.