The Orlando Theme Park Murders

10!...9!....8!......7!.......6!....5!......4!......3!....2!....1! HAPPY NEW YEAR! screamed everyone. The ball dropped, and a sign flashed ‘’2006'’. Fireworks went off as people sang ‘’Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot’‘, all the people at The Lagoon which served as the beautiful centerpiece of Universal Studios which brought all the park’s attractions together were in such a festive mood. Couples just hugged and families celebrated.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! a woman shrieked.

The scream came from one of the studio backlots, and all the tourists and employees rushed to the backlot to see what happened. The frightened woman stood over a dead body. Some of the workers at Universal tried to hold her and restrain her to calm her down. She looked as white as a ghost as she continued to glance at the dead body, this person didn’t seem to have died long ago.

‘’Did you just happen to find the body lying here?’‘ asked one of the workers.

‘’Yeah, I was on my way home from watching the fireworks,’‘ said the woman.

‘’Call the police and get everybody outta here!’‘ shouted another worker.

After I got up the next morning, there was a news story on one of the local TV stations about the dead body. The incident was much worse than anyone thought. A picture of the deceased person was shown on the TV screen, a sweet young Mexican girl.

‘’Last night’s New Year’s celebration at Universal Studios ended in tragedy, the body of a Universal employee named Julia Rodriguez was found dead on one of the backlots near the park’s lagoon where the celebration took place. Her throat had been slashed several minutes before the new year commenced.’‘ said the newscaster.

‘’It’s just a shock, everyone loved being around Julia, she such an inspiration to us all, I hope whoever did this to her gets what they deserve.’‘ said the theme park manager.

‘’Who’d wanna murder a sweet girl who came to America just to get the best life possible, she never hurt anybody, someone took my child away from me, and I’ll never be the same again.’‘ said Julia’s mother.

‘’At this time, we have no leads on who murdered this young girl, but we are investigating this matter, and we hope to catch the killer so the spirit of Julia Rodriguez and those who love her can rest.’‘ said the Commissioner of the Orlando Police Department.


***

The Police Commissioner pulled Julia Rodriguez' file out of his desk drawer for one of his forensic experts to look at. The expert looks at the photo of her slashed throat, he appears disgusted by what he sees. He almost can't even look at the photo, he's so sickened by it.

‘’This couldn’t have been done by some random tourist,’‘ said the expert.

‘’Why do you think so?’‘ asked the commissioner.

‘’This was a pre-meditated murder, any person could tell by the slash on her throat, and the logical explanation is some employee at Universal didn’t like her or had a falling out with her. This would be why this employee cut her throat.’‘ the expert answered.

***
Around the time the police were investigating the murder of Julie Rodriguez, I visited the EPCOT theme park at Walt Disney World. The place was divided down the middle in such a perfect way. The visions of the future and technological advancements on one side with a celebration of the world’s various cultures on the other.

‘’OH MY GOD! HELP PLEASE HELP!’‘ screamed a frantic tourist.

The other tourists who strolled around EPCOT just froze, and gazed at what was going on. After Disney employees were able to cut through the massive crowd, all the frightened got a glimpse of what happened. A Disney employee’s throat had been slashed, and the Disney staff did their best to quiet the crowd and break things up as a sheet was laid over the body of the slain young Latino Disney worker.

‘’Alright everyone, we’ve got the situation under control, please enjoy the park and go on with the rest of your planned activities. We’ll have more information released when it becomes available.’‘ said one of the Disney employees.


***

At the police department, photos of the two murder victims were posted on the bulletin board. The police commissioner and his forensics expert were checking things out. The police commissioner once again got their files out of the drawer. He and the forensics expert took another look at them. The forensics expert glanced at the files with an inquisitive look.

‘’These were two young Hispanic theme park employees who just happened to have their throats slashed. I think we got a pattern killer on our hands’‘, said the expert.

‘’I’m starting to think the same thing, but it’s too soon to tell. We just have a double homicide right now,’‘ said the police commissioner.

‘’What are you suggesting? Are you suggesting we let this bastard take another innocent life before we catch him?’‘ asked the forensics expert.

‘’I hate to this say this, but it’s just what we need to do.’‘ answered the police commissioner.

‘’Commissioner, there’s been another murder at Sea World and someone was attacked at Busch Gardens!’‘

‘’We’re on our way!’‘ exclaimed the commissioner.

The police commissioner and a barrage of patrol cars pulled up to the entrance at Sea World, and stormed their way through. The placed was packed as crowd of tourists just stood there in shock gazing at the dead body which was covered up by a sheet. The cops fought their way through the crowd.

‘’Please make some room this is official police business!’‘ shouted the police commissioner.

One of the police officers lifted up the sheets to see the victim’s body. He motioned the commissioner over to the body with his index finger. The commissioner took one look at the body, and wasn’t surprised by what he saw.

‘’Yet another young Hispanic theme park employee to have their throat slashed,’‘ said the commissioner.



***

I watched from the shadows as various patrol cars pulled up at the entrance of Busch Gardens. They busted through the entrance as they walked over to the young Hispanic female employee who was attacked. She was in shock as she grasped her throat, trying to catch a breath, a few paramedics were there to help her calm down.

‘’What happened here?’‘ asked one of the police officers.

‘’This old man tried to hold me down and cut my throat, but he took off when someone saw what happened.’‘ answered the woman.

‘’Did you get a good look at the guy?’‘ asked a sketch artist.

‘’He had gray hair kinda bald , wore big glasses, and looked short and fat.’‘ she replied.

The woman glanced at me, and I ran so no one else would see me. The police officers looked very suspicious, and the woman seemed frightened. They just kept staring at me and staring at me. I felt as if I was in an episode of The Fugitive or something.

‘’It’s him! It’s him! It’s him!’‘ the woman shouted.

The police chased me all over the park, all throughout the animal exhibits I was grabbed, restrained, and shoved to the ground by the various police officers. And to add to all the humiliation I was handcuffed, they caught me. I can’t believe they caught me.

‘’You have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, the state of Florida will appoint one for you free of charge if you wish.’‘ said one of the police officers.

I’ve been charged with one count of attempted murder which I will put on trial for here in a Hillsborough County, Florida court. I’ll then be transferred to Orange County, Florida where I’ll go before the judge with the charge of three counts of first degree murder. I’m a senior citizen who is a veteran of this nation’s armed forces. I married beautiful woman who I married, and our marriage produced wonderful children and grandchildren.


I owned and operated a small business for over 40 years which I sold because of health problems, we then retired to Florida where we still needed to pay the bills on our new home. So I took a part time job at one of the theme parks, but I and many other hard working employees were fired to make room for the Hispanics who were coming in because the theme park was required by law to grant employment to minority groups. I tried to get jobs at the other theme parks, but kept getting passed over by – you guessed it– those damn Mexicans! I got so furious that I got the urge to kill them, and here we are. I hope you have enjoyed these confessions of a serial killer – or should I say a hard working American citizen who was driven crazy by a bunch of wetbacks!

The Division Bell

When I saw the sunrise, I knew it wasn’t the same sun which rose over slavery and The Civil War or even the same sun which rose over segregation and Civil Rights. It was a brand new sunrise, shining over a brand new South. This South was more a more integrated South where fellow Southerners had moved to other parts of the United States, and outsiders from those same places had moved here.

I had relatives from both inside and outside The South, they still brag about their old Southern culture, and bitch about how these Yankees from the outside came in and destroyed their way of life. Those same relatives are still upset over those in laws who brought corporate takeovers and The Internet to The South.

***

Ted Heyman finished typing in his blog on the computer, headed out the door, and walked up a few blocks until he came upon the railroad tracks. On one side, there was the downtown area which was the last remnant of the old Southern town known as Fairview with a bunch of rundown buildings which house various struggling small businesses. The other side had various skyscrapers and towers that make part of Fairview a hotspot for corporate America. He took a shortcut through the downtown district to an old Southern mansion. It belonged to his maternal grandmother, Grandma Cornette. As he walked in, he spotted a holiday feast in the dining room with turkey and all the trimmings.

***

‘’Hi honey, so glad you could come’‘, said Grandma Cornette.

‘’Hi’‘, I said

I spotted my parents, Peter and Teresa Heyman, we all hugged and sat down at the table. The table was divided as The Heymans sat on one end and The Cornettes sat on the other. Food began to be served, and everyone seemed happy.

‘’How’s that blog of yours goin’?’‘Dad asked.

‘’Fine’‘, I answered .

‘’What the hell’s a blog?’‘ asked my uncle, Jack Cornette.

‘’It’s a record of thoughts and events on the internet through your point of view’‘, I responded.

‘’That god damn internet! I’m so sick of hearin’ about that god damn internet! Why the hell do so many people need computers anyway?’‘ asked Jack.

‘’They need them to work you narrow minded dumbass!’‘ said Dad.

‘’We use to work with our hands long before you brought all those fancy corporations, computers, and internet crap that wiped out good decent hard work, and gave people an excuse to be lazy and sit on their ass!’‘ shouted Jack.

‘’Oh, don’t give me any of that self-righteous Waltons and Little House on The Prairie bullshit! You need to take your outdated Southern morals and values, and shove them up your ass because no one gives a shit anymore!’‘ Dad shouted back.

Jack knocked the shit out of my father! Everyone just stood there shocked at what just happened. Dad got up, grabbed Jack by the throat, and throttled him up against the wall. The two exchanged blows right in front of everyone, they even crash through Grandma Cornette’s dinner table.

After the holiday feast, I got back on my computer at home, and noticed there was a response to my blog. It was from guy named Mark Cornette, the same name as my cousin who moved to New York several years ago, and was also Jack’s grandson. This Mark Cornette mentioned having a cousin in a small Southern town called Fairview named Ted Heyman, and wondered if I was the same one. He also mentioned his mother was in love with someone named Eddie Heyman, and he asked if he was related to me. He mentioned Eddie’s relatives weren’t too happy with him being in love with a southern gal.

I replied to his message that I was indeed the same Ted Heyman from Fairview, and that Eddie was my Dad’s brother. I also invited them to come to Fairview for a visit, knowing that another Heyman-Cornette relationship would piss Jack off since his daughter was now with a Heyman.

We all waited at the airport for Mark and his mother, Nancy. However, I didn’t them Eddie was coming with them. The three of them came through the entrance, and every seemed so happy. Jack walked up to Nancy, and gave her a big hug!

‘’There’s my baby girl!’‘, he said.

‘’Hi Daddy’‘, she replied.

‘’Everyone, this is my boyfriend Eddie’‘, she said.

‘’Peter, is that you?’‘ Eddie asked.

‘’Oh my god!’‘ shouted my Dad.

My Dad ran over to hug Eddie, and Jack’s face turned red. He wasn’t aware Eddie was a Heyman just yet, and I’m sure he didn’t wanna know. If he found out, he might have a heart attack, it was the kinda person he was. He hated those so called ‘’Yankees’‘ more than anything else on earth.

‘’You two know each other?’‘ asked Jack.

‘’He’s my brother!’‘ exclaimed Peter.

‘’Your sleeping with one of THEM?’‘ screamed Jack.

‘’One of who Daddy? Why are you so upset?’‘ asked Nancy.

‘’One of those damn Heymans! Those Yankees from up north have destroyed EVERYTHING down here!’‘

‘’Oh god Daddy, not again!’‘ Nancy sighed.

‘’Look, don’t expect us to put up with this North-South, Heyman-Cornette crap, like you made Peter and Teresa do!’‘.

‘’You see here!’‘ commanded Jack.

‘’Don’t shove that Daddy’s girl crap down my throat either!’‘ said Nancy

‘’If General Robert E. Lee here doesn’t mind, we’ll go check into a hotel’‘. said Eddie

‘’Oh don’t be ridiculous, you can stay with us!’‘ said my mother.

One night, my uncle Jack worked the graveyard shift in his office at the local newspaper. He edited and proofread a feature article with a pen and some paper handy when he heard footsteps in the halls, the sound got louder and louder, and he got up and went to the doorway to check it out.

‘’Hello, anyone there?’‘ he asked.

All of a sudden, a dark figure shot him in the stomach with a handgun. He clutched the bullet wound, and his hand became drenched in blood. He collapsed onto the floor as the assailant walked off. Jack was too injured to get up, and go after the individual. He lay there as blood continued to pour out of his stomach.

We all went to visit Jack in the hospital, but he didn’t find it very pleasant. The Heymans and The Cornettes were just as divided as they were when we all had dinner at Grandma Cornette’s house. We were all so damn quiet, we all waited for some to just open their damn mouth just to see if someone was gonna start another argument! A police officer also waited to take a statement from Jack about the shooting.

‘’How ya’ feelin’ Daddy?’‘ Nancy asked.

‘’I’d feel better if there weren’t so many god damn Yankees in this room!’‘ Jack responded.

‘’Dad, don’t start. We’re all here because we care about you, and we were so heartbroken and scared when we found out you got shot’‘. Nancy said.

‘’Thanks sweetie.’‘ Jack said.

‘’Mr. Cornette, did you get a good look at the person who shot you?’‘ asked the police officer.

‘’No I couldn’t see who it was because the hallway was so dark, but I bet you it was one of those Heymans!’‘

‘’I’ve heard just about enough of your bullshit Jack! I’m leavin’!’‘ shouted Teresa, his sister.

‘’Hey, let us know when you stop being so paranoid, and realize that The Civil War has been over for almost 150 years!’‘ said her husband Peter.

A few days later, my father Peter Heyman stepped out of the house to get the morning paper, and as he reached down to get it, he felt a sharp pain in his side as a gunshot was fired. The wound became bloody as he lay there helpless, all of a sudden, the dark figure who shot dialed his cell phone.

‘’Vengeance is yours, Mr. Cornette. The South Shall Rise Again.’‘ said the dark figure.

As the dark figure left the scene of the crime, my father writhed on the ground as blood came up from his mouth. He wandered in and out of consciousness as he glanced up at the morning sky thinking he was gonna die.


In time, both my uncle and my father recovered from their injuries. However, I noticed something weird as Fairview’s 4th of July picnic approached. Half the houses in town sported American flags in their front yards while the other half sported Confederate flags. It was now the night of 4th of July picnic, but no one seemed as happy as they were at picnics in previous years. Everyone seemed so distant and quiet. Then I noticed Yankees and red necks each stood in two groups. My father Peter Heyman stood in front of the Yankees while my uncle Jack Cornette stood in front of the red necks.

‘’You and all of this corporate takeover bullshit has destroyed our quiet little town!’‘ shouted Jack.

‘’Please spare the whole population of Fairview of your self-righteous bullshit! We don’t wanna hear it!’‘said my father.

‘’We’re about a second away from kickin’ your corporate asses!’‘ Jack yelled.

‘’Let’s see what you got!’‘ exclaimed Peter.

The red, white, and blue fireworks started up as a marching band played the star spangled banner, but instead of celebrating, everyone was too busy trying to kill each other. People were getting shot and stabbed left and right. Yankees and red necks were on the ground, covered in blood, and dying while a good number of both sides still fought for their lives. It was The Civil War all over again! All of a sudden, a trumpet sounded, and a bolt of lightning struck so bright and so loud, it almost woke the dead. The sky split open as a beacon of shone through, half the people there ascended into the heavens as they hugged and seemed at peace with one another. The ground also split apart as flames shot up from an underground pit. The other half left behind tried to struggle for their lives, but they all fell into the pit screaming in pain.

This will be my final blog entry, the last judgement has been placed on The South by the Yankees from up North. Those good on the right have inherited the kingdom which has prepared them for the world. While those evil on the left have departed into an everlasting fire which has prepared them for the wicked demons who shall torment them in the heart of darkness.

***

Ted Heyman finished typing in his blog on the computer, and folded down his laptop. He got up from his chair, and walked over to his right. He stood at the gates of heaven as he clothes turned white before turning left to head over to the flames of hell where his clothes turned black. His clothes turned grey as he came to a neutral midpoint between the two domains where he saw a throne. Ted climbed up the steps, and sat on the throne, as he had control over both heaven and hell. He was both God and The Devil.